Ok, you are free to do any translations you want for TUNING OUT, just don't forget to mention credits ! If you need to contact me, I am on discord, just search for a Dana on the discord server Furry Paradise Have a nice day !
Thanks for your nice review ! It was our first VN so the transition is really a mistake on my part ! A month to learn ren.py and writing a story was a lot !
Great VN, the story is engaging, the characters are great and the production value has no right being this high when it's the product of only one artist !
Solid writing ! I love how you mixed what's realistic and lovecrafty, it gives some grounding to your characters.
The only nitpick I would have is about characterization : even if it's good I'm sure you could have done it even better. Roan could have used more depth so we fall in love with him like Will did.
But anyway, loved it. The story is flowing nicely. Well done.
I liked your story a lot. It's short but it works well and the two characters have chemistry.
Just a question because I searched absolutely everywhere : is there a way to open the safe ? I'm pretty sure I tried all the combinaisons I could guess
There were some really interesting ideas. Furries would be terrifying in the real world for sure. But I couldn't quite connect to the story as we don't know these characters. Still, as a proof of concept, it does its job
Thanks a lot for your review ! These are always detailed and well written, it's appreciated ! We will have to fix the artifacts 👍 I messed up in some part of TUNING OUT but we have to wait july
I liked the alien feel you get while playing. The story, the prose, the ambiance, the places you visit. Everything is out of this world, kind of off in a way you can't explain. I felt like you managed to pinpoint a feeling of being displaced, like the character really shouldn't be there.
The prose can be hard to read sometimes and I brutforced the puzzle because I couldn't understand it, I wasn't sure of the right path before reading your devlog !
I like it when writers manage to set their ambiance well !
There's a lot of potential with your writing, the characters feel alive and the discussions are well-written. But the story would benefit by being more tight and structured. If you want your readers to be hooked, a few stakes could amplify your story and we never like characters as much as when we feel for them and see them struggle and fight.
I know it's a slice of life, but events and high and down would help your story by adding beats to it.
I liked it still, you have something with the way you're writing characters.
Was this VN written in a centerforeign langage and then centertranslated ? It felt like this but I guess it fits the theme of your game. I couldn't help but read all of it with a thick centerrussian accent.
The emotions in this centerseem raw and sincere, and that's what I'm searching for when I play this kind of centergame.
Sometimes the tone shift too abruptly and the prose can be centerwoncky, but still. I centerliked it.
The structure of the story is working, but I feel like it's not enough to make it as good as it could have been : we are too far from the events narrated by the patient so we can't form an emotional bond with him. Maybe you could have made him relieved some of his memories ?
The dialogues are realistic and the plot is very interesting, you found a good piece of story for the theme. I liked it, I'll read your next one
Fantastic writing. A good mix between a gay-fantasy we'd like to live and a piece of fiction with well established characters and controlled anime tropes.
The only nitpick I could have is : the story is too perfect in the sense that it gets what the characters want without much of a fuss, it could benefits from a few bump in the road.
Awesome writing, great characters ! I would have loved for Vincent to be more fleshed out, it would make the revelation more powerful.
By the way, from the theme and by how long the game insist on the rules, I thought I would be able to make choices in the game... Play a little against these opponents. Oh well.
I'm hooked. It's very good. I want to see the end of it !
There's a good idea in the heart of this project, but I feel like you haven't done all you could with it. The structure of the story makes it difficult to understand and it's too short to develop the themes and the relations between these character.
Still, it has potential and I'm glad to have read it !
This one is a slow burner. It took me some time but I didn't want it to end.
The writing is overall great but the quality fluctuate inside the game : I guess it's hard to keep the same quality when you have so little time and a story this long. If the two main characters are well established, other characters struggle to find their own voices.
But all of this is nitpicking. I loved this one and I hope its creator will make a lot more in the future ! Keep on with the good writing !
There's not a single word that is not useful in this. The character development, the characterization and exposition were perfectly controlled, I was really impressed.
And so, it doesn't take much time to love this wolf and even the MC (The MC has a personnality, it's rare enough to be noted), we want to see them succeed.
The sprites are beautiful. Colorful and full of life, they convey perfectly the emotions of the writing.
This one is maybe my favourite amongst the entries I've read so far
It's raw, short and chaotic, but that suits the theme of anxiety perfectly.
It feels like we're in your head and when someone manage to do this, it feels like a success. Maybe a little more polishing would have been great but I still liked it a lot.
We'll try our best ! If you have suggestions don't hesitate to hit me up on discord, we can definitely use more "show" like you did in your jam project
Amazing story and great presentation. What sets this story apart from others is the realism of the dialogue.Each character has their own voice and it would be possible to recognize them without even the nametag. Loved it. 5/5.
I would want to know the rest of it, though ! You can't tease us like this and leave it unfinished !
We’ll add better transitioning in the final build. You’re right, it’s too blunt! Same for the opacity of the boxes, we’ll see what we can do. We lacked time : (
Same for Abbey speaking instead of Roy; that’s a mistake we’ll have to fix !
SPOILERS
The affinity points are intentional. You cannot do anything to please Roy, he decided he was done with you the second you quit college. I wanted to use the affinity system to induce a sentiment of hopelessness : you can’t win with him and whatever choice you take, he will dump you because he probably found someone to replace you. There’s no right choices in toxic relationships !
For the wind and the lack of music for the building, it was on purpose, but I’m not sure if it was the right choice. The goal was to enforce unease. And Holden only hears Roy and the wind.
Maybe I should have found a music that would have made the same impression; it would have been better. We’ll modify it in the final build!
Thank you a lot for your nice message and for playing our game, we appreciate it a lot !
I would like to see where this story is going, but it being unfinished is unfortunate :( We don't know the characters yet, it's difficult to like them without knowing them.
