HIGH Pulling off a perfectly-timed string of hits without hesitation.
LOW Where is the last guy on this level?!
WTF The balancing of the last two stages!
HIGH Pulling off a perfectly-timed string of hits without hesitation.
LOW Where is the last guy on this level?!
WTF The balancing of the last two stages!
HIGH This may be some of the best game-feel of the decade.
LOW Honestly, the soccer minigame kinda sucks.
WTF Feeding your pet fish… fish-fries
HIGH New story content and quality-of-life improvements.
LOW Still requires some grinding.
WTF Butt slap attack!
HIGH Dismembering foes like a sword-swinging badass.
LOW Every single time Abraxas opens his mouth.
WTF No brightness slider in a modern triple-A game? Are you kidding?
In 2009, my future wife (then girlfriend) got me the best present I had ever received — a PS3. I did not deserve this present. I was a 30-year-old man who was a walking collection of red flags. My shelves were milkcrates. I had recently gotten out of a long-term relationship. My employment history was heavy on “barista” and “dog walker” and light on “jobs that provide health insurance and lead to lucrative careers.”
HIGH The platforming and style.
LOW The combat, especially the combat-focused bosses.
WTF The “everyone you know is dead” joke.
HIGH Fast action. Clever hidden items. Lots of interactivity.
LOW Backtracking. Damage sponge enemies. Crashes and bugs.
WTF Why are the Bowling Bombs so addicting?
HIGH A fresh, yet nostalgic approach to the survival genre.
LOW When making soup is an unlockable skill, we’ve gone too far.
WTF I didn’t think a toilet minigame would be such a big selling point.
HIGH It always feels great to play my boy Donnie…
LOW …But bland gameplay and repeated voice lines test that theory.
WTF What’s with these Slendermen-looking dudes?
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