Reviews

The good old 80's action movies....

Extremely muscular hero, an evil villain and 10,000 evil cloned Mexican soldiers waiting to get shot. No questions asked.

Remember the old heroes of those days? Arnold Schwarzenegger, Silvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal are the best known of those action heroes. Of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger is the most famous of them all because he got a shot at some really big movies (Terminator 1 and 2, Predator) which were of good quality.

This however is the genre in which Arnold Schwarzenegger truly excelled, not so much because of his action physique but because of him adding a certain (intended?) touch of self-humor in his films. That gives them that extra something that other action films of those days lack.

Commando is arguably the most typical 80's action movie of them all. The plot is as thin as a dog's hair, but here it is: Ex-commando John Matrix (Arnold) sees his daughter being kidnapped by an evil ex-dictator of a central-American country and vows revenge on said ex-dictator.

That's all there is to the plot.

The action is ludicrous in this movie, but we wouldn't expect any less from Arnold, would we? (back then, nowadays it's a different story) Expect to see enough explosions to move a small planet from it's orbit, more bullets being fired than in both world wars put together and a twisted dictator's henchman (Vernon Wells) so camp he's well, camp.

The verdict: Massively entertaining, not only because of the action but also because of the enormous comedy value this movie has built up over the years. Expect a laugh or two, or three, or thirteen. Brilliant one liners, finally, make this movie what it is: a genre classic.

It's still a bad film, but for old times' sake: 6 out of 10.

Why write a review about this movie 9 years after it's release?

Because it's that damn good.

This movie is the second in a series of 4 and, together with part one, stands so far above the other two parts that some even regard this movie as the final in the series.

The plot pretty much stands on it's own, although having seen Alien before watching this movie adds a lot of extra depth to it. The barren planet LV-426 from the original has been colonized. No one knows what danger the planet harbours, until Ripley, the only surviver of the first movie, is found in an escape pod, floating in deep space. No one believes her stories about the alien, until all contact with LV-426 is lost. The Company sends her, along with a hardened group of Colonial Marines, back to LV-426. All hell breaks loose.

One of the best things about this movie is how James Cameron managed to give an action-twist to it and thus make it very different from Ridley Scott's original. The first Alien is a real thriller with only one alien throughout the movie, the second a sci-fi action classic with tons of the slimy critters.

The craftsmanship mentioned in the title of this review refers to there being no CGI whatsoever in this movie. Everything is 'real', handcrafted by the best artists of the day.

It's going to be difficult to find this movie in a theatre somewhere, but for optimal viewing pleasure buy the Special Edition DVD. Watch the documentaries and you'll gain even more respect for the artists that created this movie.

9 out of 10.

Thursday the 28th of October, "AvP" came out in Holland. As a fan of the original Alien, Aliens and Predator 1 I wanted to see this movie for myself, instead of listening to critics here and there and not go. I believed that maybe it wouldn't be so bad, maybe all those reviewers were wrong.

Well..

It was even worse. I find it absolutely unbelievable how a single man can ruin two perfectly good franchises in one blow. That man is, of course, Paul Anderson. Having seen his previous work, expectations weren't that high, although Alien and Predator in one movie would surely make up for his lack of talent, or so I thought. I honestly hope they never ever let this man near an Alien or Predator movie again.

Right, the plot. Charles Bishop Weyland, played by Lance Henriksen, finds the heat signature of an ancient pyramid under the Antarctic ice. A team is sent out to investigate and of course, once there, all hell breaks loose.

Lance Henriksen, by the way, is the only one who tries to make the best out of the crap he's got himself involved in. The rest of the (unknown) cast walks around on autopilot. The film seriously lacks a charismatic hero such as Ripley or Major Dutch.

Various errors and goofs are widespread throughout this film. When I got out of the theater, it was about 7 degrees Celsius outside and some of my breath turned into steam. Pretty funny then that if the main character is climbing an ice wall somewhere in the mountains, her breath doesn't turn into steam. Or when they're on an icebreaker, at night, near Antarctica. No steam. Small details maybe and I think the audience this movie targeted probably didn't notice.

That gets me to my next point. Why on God's Green Earth did they make it a PG-13? Two R-rated franchises turned into one PG-13 movie? The ideology behind this makes me sick. Money, that's what Fox are interested in. Drawing as many 12-13 year olds to the theater.

This comment turned out to be one long rant but I can't remember the last time a movie managed to infuriate me like this. Verdict: a 3,5 at best. If Paul Anderson is going to involved with a future Alien or Predator film, don't go and watch it.

After all, would you reward a dog that pees on your carpet?

By all means, this movie is decent sci-fi action, but lacks the depth it claims.

The movie opens with the Three Laws of Robotics, as stated by Isaac Asimov. In short, these say that a robot shall always obey humans and protect them and even through inaction, can never harm them. Cue Will Smith in one of his more serious roles. He still cracks some jokes every now and then and does some overacting in a few scenes. Luckily, only very few scenes so his overall performance is decent. The plot, which, without revealing too much of it, is based around the three laws of robotics going out the window, never really goes in depth and I got the feeling that the action was more important at certain times. Too bad, since the film tries so hard to be something more than brainless action. Effects were nicely done, the robots were looking good and some of the outdoors scenes were breathtaking. Will Smiths car was beautiful, but Audi sponsoring part of the film was too evident at some times. Almost all of the 'extra' cars were modified Audi's. Even the police drove modified Audi A6's.

All in all, this film kept me pretty entertained for close to 2 hours, but didn't have me really thinking about what I just saw.

A decent 6,9 out of 10 for this film.

In fact, I have a suspicion that I will still like this one better even after the release of the new Punisher (2004).

That's because of a couple of reasons. Firstly, the acting. Dolph Lundgren acts very well in this film, portraying a grim, depressed, out of the ordinary action hero whose sole reason for living is revenge. Louis Gossett, jr. also does his best as Lundgren's former best friend. Jeroen Krabbe, in my opinion, is miscast as the big crime boss although he does his best.

Secondly, the action sequences are simply good. Lots of guns blazing, some decent camera angles and of course the whole 'red light' sequence near the end of the film, which I liked. The whole atmosphere of this movie is grim, gritty, depressed. Something I think the remake this year will not accomplish.

6/10

I'm always in for a low-budget action movie for a laugh or two. This one didn't fail me. Hulk Hogan gave the word 'non-actor' a new meaning and the low budget oozed from the screen.

However, I found it strangely amusing. It reminded me of those old 80's action movies and tv series I used to watch as a kid. Simple plot, but enough to keep you from changing channels on your tv. The action was, considering the budget, decent. The firefights looked convincing, better than a lot of other low-budget tv movies. Acting was, well, what you'd expect from a movie like this. The only exceptions were Weathers and Goddard who managed to make the best out of the crap lines they were given. Hogan was simply bad. Steven Seagal-like bad.

If you catch this movie on tv sometime, watch it. And if you do, don't forget to check out the recreation of the scene from "The Rock" where the SEALs enter Alcatraz from underwater and Weathers' reunion with Mr Painless from "Predator".

4,5 out of 10.

Even though it's been four years since this film's original release, the special effects are better than most films I've seen recently, except the portrayal of Gollem in LOTR.

The film as a whole seems as though our Dutch pride in Hollywood, Verhoeven, gave the SFX a higher priority than the plot, dialogue and performances of his actors. On contrary to it's obvious intentions, the film got me cheering for Bacon's character because of the astounding lack of charisma of the other characters. Well, maybe not all characters. Keep a look out for Bacon's neighbour in the film. In any case, in the end I actually hoped that Sebastian Caine reached the surface, to at least get some action. That brings me to the locations, well, location. I found the underground lab to be a pretty boring place for a 2-hour film. There's just not enough stuff for an invisible man to mess with to make it more interesting. I haven't mentioned the plot yet, have I? Well, there isn't much of a plot. However, in short:

Flamboyant dr. Sebastian Caine develops a way to become invisible. Problem is, his team of scientists can't find a way to make him visible again. Caine goes mad.

Conclusion: Watch this film for the SFX, which are really good. On a scale from 1 to 10 the current IMDB rating is more than enough for this film.

Fritz the Cat is an outdated look on society as it was in the 1960 -70's. Black people consistently portrayed as crows, cops as pigs and an annoying cat preaching revolution. The animation is crude, but has it's charm. The music, however, is annoying. It's the typical hippie-feel good tunes that make you want to press 'mute' on your remote. Furthermore, the main character is a very irritating one. Preaching revolution for the 102nd time is a bit too much.

This may have been hip and 'fresh' in the 60-70's but time has caught up with this cat.

This landmark, inspired by the old film noir, is bound to become a classic for future generations.

Direction, plot and cast are all of an unbelievably high level and set a standard in storytelling which sends many of the films currently in theatres home in shame. This film is the proof that you don't need a multi-million dollar budget for that extra explosion or car chase. Nor do you need excessive FX to make a great movie.

The cast in this movie is exceptional. In 1995, none of the actors were real A-list actors, yet they deliver a great performance alone and as a group.

Brian Singer's solid yet subtle direction fits the story perfectly. I guarantee you the second time you'll watch this, you'll watch it with different eyes, which brings me to perhaps the best aspect of this movie, The plot. It's phenomenal. It starts out simple, then winds it's way into complexity only to leave you stunned at the very end, which is amongst film history's best.

This is a must-see film for everyone. 9.8/10

This is one of the greatest Hong Kong action movies I've seen, only surpassed by the Killer because Hard-Boiled lacks a convincing storyline.

It makes for great action though, as John Woo will take you on a two-hour rollercoaster ride to an explosive ending.

Also note the great long shot about 3/4 through the movie, showing that Woo isn't just an action specialist but also a gifted film-maker.

8/10