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Hey_Sweden
Birthdate: September 25
I bid you...velcome.
I'm a shameless movie fanatic who especially favours the following genres:
Exploitation
Horror
Action
Comedy
Favourite directors include:
John Carpenter
Larry Cohen
George A. Romero
David Cronenberg
Ratings
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Three's Company: Jack on the Lam (1979)
"Does anybody really know where anybody lives?"
Two FBI agents, Banning (James Staley, "Protocol") and Roth (Rudolph Willrich, "Communion") come looking for Jack, and he naturally, in the tradition of 'Three's Company', assumes the worst. So he attempts to masquerade as "Chrissy", dressing in drag and going on a "business" date with a man named Walter Nessle (Dick O'Neill, "The Taking of Pelham One Two Three").
A new era was underway during this series' run, and it starts with a new credits sequence on the Santa Monica pier, and Richard Kline (a.k.a. Larry) included along with John, Joyce, and Suzanne. It also saw Joyce debut her cute "pixie"-ish hairdo. Unfortunately, as we can see, the Chrissy character was starting to get done dirty, and made to be pretty dumb rather than just naive.
But 'Jack on the Lam' is still a very bright opening to the fourth season, with some absolutely hysterical moments, not the least is the sight of Ritter in drag. In real life, he wouldn't fool anybody. Which makes it all the more hilarious that a drunken Larry proceeds to hit on Jack!
In the end, I have to give Staley and Willrich credit for taking their characters seriously and maintaining their poker faces, which can't have been easy considering the comic hijinks on display.
Nine out of 10.
Breaking Bad: Down (2009)
An absolutely riveting episode.
Walter is forced to deal with more of the aftermath from his disappearance. As it stands, Skylar is not talking to him, and disappearing for hours at a time without saying where she's going. Jesse, on the other hand, sinks as low as he can possibly sink. His parents kick him out of his house - having discovered the remains of his lab - and he has virtually nowhere to go, no "friends" who can put him up for at least a brief time.
Episodes such as this have really sold me on Aaron Paul as an actor. He truly sells Jesses' dejection & desperation, and I could definitely feel bad for him despite the direction in which his life took him. His absolute lowest point? An incident involving an outhouse, which is both hilarious and utterly sad.
When Walter rails at Jesse for coming to his house, still driving THAT damnable mobile home, and yells about the younger mans' ineptitude and stupidity, it's no surprise when they actually come to blows. But the title of the episode is apt: Jesse is a character who's truly DOWN in the dumps, and he's ready to do ANYTHING to remedy his situation.
Meanwhile, Walter tries to bond with Walter, Jr., who's also distanced himself from his dad, and they have a pleasant, mildly funny sequence where the father tries to teach the son how to drive.
At the end, when we see what Skylar has been doing during her time away, it's truly disconcerting.
Eight out of 10.
Spider-Man: Fountain of Terror/Fiddler on the Loose (1968)
"You and your rock 'n' roll rabble!"
'Fountain of Terror'. Scientist Curtis Connor (voice of Gillie Fenwick) once again goes missing, only this time he has been captured by a 15th century Conquistador (possibly THE Ponce de Leon) desperate to keep his knowledge of The Fountain of Youth a secret. Spidey has his hands full not only dealing with returning villain Harley Clivendon (voice of Chris Wiggins), but Connors' annoying son Billy (voice of Billie Mae Richards), who insists on tagging along on Spidey's mission. Good fun overall for Spidey fans, with the web-head facing quicksand and making a speedboat (!) out of his webbing.
'Fiddler on the Loose'. A demented violinist with a German accent wants to restore the beauty of classical music to the world, so he sets out to destroy the efforts of ageing swinger Cyrus Flintridge (J. Frank Willis), a man with a fondness for "mod" rock. The villain is priceless, what with his deadly violin that creates sonic blasts. What's also funny is seeing how much of a swinger Jameson is NOT.
Eight out of 10.
Mardi Gras Massacre (1978)
Are you sure you're REALLY evil?
A well-dressed sicko (William Metzo) is hard at work sacrificing prostitutes to his "god". A vice cop who's transferred to homicide (Curt Dawson), who's absolutely no rose himself, picks up his trail, but never seems THAT concerned with whether or not he solves the case.
The fifth and final film for New Orleans-based exploitation filmmaker Jack Weis, this isn't as much as fun as if, say, Herschell Gordon Lewis had handled it. Sure, "Mardi Gras Massacre" hits the expected beats sufficiently: it's got some amusing gore, and the female cast members frequently get nude. The problem is, HGL probably would have at least made this a bit livelier. This flick is too slow and too static and takes too long to play out its slim story.
Make no mistake, it's as inept as much of what you'll see in the HGL filmography, with blatantly cheesy & amateurish acting, and it features a steady parade of genuinely bad music. That said, Metzo amuses in the psycho role, and that's Playboy Playmate Laura Misch Owens as his initial victim.
I *did* enjoy this to an extent as a piece of cinematic trash, and as a so-bad-it's-good type of movie, but I can't say that I really *laughed* as often as I do when watching most films from HGL.
At the very least, the location manager did *their* job: there are some pleasing N. O. sights & sounds to take in, and the climax *does* feature some good Mardi Gras celebration footage.
Five out of 10.
Get Mean (1975)
"You're worse than trash. You're GARBAGE!"
Story author / producer / star Tony Anthony ("Blindman") came up with the idea of this certifiably wacky, late-in-the-game Spaghetti Western that really is like nothing else I've seen. Anthony plays The Stranger (a character he's played before), mystery man who is dragged by a horse into a wind-swept ghost town. There, gypsies offer him a sizable sum to transport a Royal (Diana Lorys, "The Awful Dr. Orlof") to Spain so she can lead an army.
The Stranger proceeds to get caught up in a war between "barbarians" and Moors, and frequently takes his lumps (he is hung by his feet, fired at by a cannon, chased by a bull, and roasted over a fire as if he were a pig) before rising up righteous and decimating the bad guys.
"Get Mean" is definitely goofy stuff, and I can understand why some people would not care for it. But I enjoy its eccentric spirit, as it alternates between violent action and a heavy tongue-in-cheek attitude.
Anthony is no Clint Eastwood, but he does amuse as this initially comedic mercenary who finds his inner badass when it really matters. The rest of the cast is a hoot: co-writer Lloyd Battista ("Last Plane Out") as Shakespeare-loving hunchback Sombra, Raf Baldassarre ("The Great Silence") as thuggish barbarian villain Diego, David Dreyer ("Fuzz") as the effeminate Alfonso, and Mirta Miller ("Eyeball") as gypsy girl Morelia.
Seeing that the whole Spaghetti Western genre was on its way out by this point, you can't blame people like Anthony and director Ferdinando Baldi ("Treasure of the Four Crowns") for trying anything to give it some spark. Again, this offbeat approach may not suit some people, but I found this quite watchable if not completely successful.
Seven out of 10.
Emperor of the North Pole (1973)
A man and a train.
Although it is not credited as such, this is an excellent screen version of the Jack London story The Road. The setting is the Pacific Northwest, at the height of the Great Depression. There are hard times for everybody, but hobos can still use the trains to their advantage. A legendary bum named A No. 1 (Lee Marvin) is touted as being the most likely challenger to take on sadistic conductor "Shack" (Ernest Borgnine), and ride Shacks' train, the No. 19, all the way to Portland. While many people wager on the outcome, A No. 1 is forced to deal with a brash young loudmouth / tag-along named Cigaret (Keith Carradine), who'd like very much to reach the heights of fame that A No. 1 has obtained.
"Emperor of the North" is directed with great intelligence and force by Robert Aldrich, who guided so many great films that this one sometimes flies under some viewers' radar. But it's a potent, rousing period action flick in which communities of hobos greatly admire A No. 1, in a time when hobos could actually take pride in how well they handled their situation. By riding No. 19 the distance, A No. 1 can ultimately thumb his nose at swaggering, domineering authority figures such as Shack.
Marvin and Borgnine play these roles to the hit, and make for fantastic adversaries. Carradine gives a showy performance as the young punk in dire need of some life lessons. And the almost exclusively male cast features such top character actors as Charles Tyner, Harry Caesar, Malcolm Atterbury, Simon Oakland, Hal Baylor, Matt Clark, Elisha Cook Jr., Liam Dunn, Sid Haig, John Steadman, and Vic Tayback.
The beautiful scenery is extremely well photographed by Joseph Biroc; the score is by Frank DeVol, who also wrote the music for the "A Man and a Train" theme song (sung by Marty Robbins). The action really is first-rate, and the donnybrook promised by the film, which plays out during the final 10 minutes, is well worth the wait.
Highly recommended to fans of the cast, Aldrich, and train-themed films in general.
A young Lance Henriksen has an uncredited bit as a railroad worker.
Nine out of 10.
The Office: Pilot (2005)
A decent beginning.
This Americanization of the UK sitcom centers around Dunder-Mifflin, a paper supply company. Amid discussions of impending layoffs, regional manager Michael Scott (Steve Carell), who's the working definition of clueless, tries his best to maintain morale among his employees. He sure has a funny way of going about it, though, especially in a scene with Pam the receptionist (Jenna Fischer).
This version of 'The Office' gets off to a pleasant if not hilarious start. I can believe that the writing will get stronger as the series went on, but overall this made for good if not inspired entertainment. (I have not seen the debut episode of the UK version, but apparently this American pilot follows it pretty closely.) Certainly there are some good laughs: encasing Dwights' (Rainn Wilson) office supplies in Jello, Michael receiving an *extremely* inappropriate call during a meeting with Jan (Melora Hardin) from Corporate, Michael referring to the garbage can as the place to file memos from Corporate, etc.
At least I could see there was potential here. As a man who himself has had an office job for almost 25 years, it has enough of a feeling of familiarity to make it relatable, even if characters & situations will undoubtedly be exaggerated for comedic effect.
In conclusion, I will say that I do like Carell as the dopey boss who *thinks* he's much cooler and hipper than he actually is. Awkward silences really speak volumes about how the employees actually feel about him.
Seven out of 10.
Romeo Is Bleeding (1993)
"Hell is when you should've walked away, but you didn't."
Jack Grimaldi (Gary Oldman) is an NYC police detective who's an all-around shady type: crooked in terms of his job, and unfaithful to his wife (Annabella Sciorra). Then, he is tasked by mob boss Don Falcone (Roy Scheider) to bump off Russian hitwoman Mona Demarkov (Swedish beauty Lena Olin). As the viewer may expect, she proves to be one very crafty individual who's very hard to take down.
Well-directed by Peter Medak ("The Ruling Class", "The Changeling", "The Krays") and exceptionally cut by ace editor Walter Murch, "Romeo Is Bleeding" is good fun for fans of twisty crime thrillers. Darkly comic and full of amusing turns in the story, it's very much character-driven, with a true force-of-nature character at its core. Mona is the most colorful role in which I've seen Olin, and she truly makes the most of the situation. Oldman is solid as usual, of course, but her character is the one that really *drives* the story. A lot of the time, he's *reacting* to what *she* does. They receive able support from a bunch of familiar faces: Michael Wincott, James Cromwell, Paul Butler, Will Patton, Larry Joshua, David Proval, Tony Sirico, and Ron Perlman.
Given a jazzy score by Mark Isham, "Romeo Is Bleeding" is a good deal of fun, offering up quite a bit of sex appeal as well as some potent violence. The title comes from a lyric by Tom Waits, who receives a special "thank you" credit. And the screenplay by Hilary Henkin (also a co-producer) was considered one of the "10 best unproduced screenplays in Hollywood" until it was filmed by this cast & crew.
I wouldn't be surprised if this has attained a cult following by this point.
Seven out of 10.
Hill Street Blues: The Russians Are Coming (1983)
A solid episode.
A trio of Russian journalists are currently visiting the Hill, to study the American system of law & order. Then, one of them locks himself in a cell, demanding asylum, although his motives are far from political. Belker goes undercover as an ambulance attendant. J. D.s' brother in law Rob (Louis Giambalvo) is arrested for soliciting officer Marty Nichols (Lynne Moody), who's working undercover as a prostitute. And Fay is intent on keeping her romance with Henry a secret for the moment, although he would have no problem with it being out in the open.
The most potent subplot has to do with a disturbed young man, Tyrone Crane (Richard Brooks, 'Law & Order'), who everyone believes is no real danger, but sadly this turns out not to be the case, resulting in a tragic ending, for more than one character. The story thread with the Russians is actually rather lightweight in comparison. J. D., ever the opportunist, sees a chance to finagle a nice new automobile out of Rob given the latters' situation. The nice thing about the story thread with Belker is that it allows him to make a connection with a new set of characters, in particular ambulance driver Louis (the late Bruno Kirby, "Donnie Brasco"). It's a good moment when Belker sees that Louis favors sardines & onions sandwiches, just as Belker does. Joyce has a moment of self-reflection when Tyrone, this young man whom everybody had shown a break, proved not to be reliable in the end. That was also powerful.
This Christmas-set episode also guest stars Allan Kolman ("Shivers"), Stanley Kamel ('Monk'), Bill Henderson ("Clue"), Janet Carroll ("Risky Business"), Martin West ("Assault on Precinct 13"), and Richard Chaves ("Predator").
Sadly, this marked the last series appearance for father-figure cast member Michael Conrad (the inimitable Sgt. Esterhaus), who'd passed away from urethral cancer during the shooting.
Eight out of 10.
Canvas of Blood (1997)
Entertaining junk.
Young Julia (Jennifer Hutt) is a promising prodigy on the violin, but a cyst on her hand is causing her pain. The moronic doctor (Michael Mann) who operates on her botches the procedure, and leaves her with a paralyzed hand. He then conspires with a sleazy ambulance-chasing lawyer (Andy Colvin) and a pompous judge (J. Michael Lawlor) to screw over the poor girl and her dad. Now, the dad (Jack McClernan) is a Vietnam vet with a disabled hand who knows how to affix prosthetic devices to this hand to dispense some brutal justice.
"Canvas of Blood" is very typical for this kind of micro-budget, regional film-making. The acting is cheesy, the dialogue hilariously dumb, the bargain basement gore is fun, and the music ranges from being not TOO bad to being excessively awful. And the music is pretty constant, too....
Although a terrible film objectively speaking, it is at least VERY amusing in its ineptitude and tackiness. It's too hard not to laugh at this nonsense. Everything about it stinks, but at least I can say that the victims ultimately get exactly what they deserve - ESPECIALLY Julia's scuzzy ex-fiancee (Mark Frear). And the steady supply of T & A should satisfy some viewers.
One clue to how inane this whole thing is: there is actually a character named Dick Noggin.
Five out of 10.
Xiangang xiao jiao fu (1974)
"It just sort of took off."
Drug-running mobsters are busy assassinating Interpol agents in the opening minutes. Then, Chinese kung fu expert / film star Wang Liu (Siu-Lung Leung) interferes with one of the assassination attempts, and thus earns himself a big target on his own back. The mob hires a supposedly professional hit squad to eliminate Wang Liu, and then, for good measure, stage the filming of a phony martial arts flick in order to lure Wang Liu close to them.
My rating applies obviously not to any aspect of "quality", but to pure entertainment value. This is a true howler of martial arts pulp mayhem, and it delivers plenty of laughs as well as opportunities for the star to strut his stuff. For one thing, this hit squad is so bloody incompetent, they rarely get anything right. Yet, give them credit: they NEVER stop trying! Of course, they're such rotten, evil cretins that they know just how to get our hero hopping mad.
Complete with truly wretched dubbing, an INCREDIBLY annoying kid character (Yu Fan as the heros' young brother), a HILARIOUSLY cheesy music score, and excellent location shooting in Rome, "The Godfather Squad" is highly agreeable nonsense, combining the sensibilities of Italian crime fiction and Asian "chop socky" cinema.
Co-starring lovely ladies Maria D'Incoranato and Shirley Corrigan, and Mario Cutini, Yasuaki Kurata, Gordon Mitchell, and Consalvo Dell'Arti as the hysterically unsubtle bad guys, this actually also features archive footage of Italian TV personality Antonino Fava and Pope Paul VI!
It's patently ridiculous, of course, and is obviously not something anybody should take seriously.
Eight out of 10.
Star Trek: Spock's Brain (1968)
"I knew I shouldn't have reconnected his mouth."
A strange but beautiful alien woman, Kara (Marj Dusay, "Breezy", 'The Guiding Light') appears on board the Enterprise bridge, immobilizes everyone, and makes off with Spocks' brain, doing a very neat surgical job. Since the science officer, as a half-Vulcan, can hang on for another 24 hours without a brain, Kirk and his comrades spend the time feverishly pursuing a hunch - and discovering a glacial planet, primitive men, and subservient women who obey the word of a "controller".
While I don't dislike this episode as strongly as some Trek fans, I *will* say that it *is* pretty goofy stuff, not to be taken too seriously. It's telling that both Shatner and Nimoy were pretty embarrassed by it. In addition to being a lesser script - and not an ideal starting point for the third and final season - people could easily see it as being rather misogynistic. It does feature a typically hilarious Trek fight scene, as Kirk, Scotty, and Bones tussle with some henchmen, and the finale is fairly decent as we see Bones risk his own life by temporarily vastly increasing his knowledge so he can perform brain-restoring surgery. There is some real tension as Kelley looks convincingly edgy and nervous. In the end, 'Spocks' Brain does work pretty well as a showcase for him. And its echoing of a device in "Forbidden Planet" was a good hook.
And it does wrap up with a light-hearted, priceless moment calling to mind all of the previous antagonism between Spock & Bones.
Six out of 10.
Three's Company: Triangle Troubles (1979)
"Reverend...it's an ANGEL food cake."
Jack starts dating Debbie (Barrie Youngfellow, "Nightmare in Blood"), a fellow student at his cooking school. He mistakenly thinks that she's an old-fashioned type of girl, and doesn't want to tell her that he lives with two women. Meanwhile, she's in the same boat: she lives with two MEN, and thinks that HE'S too old-fashioned to accept such an arrangement! Wouldn't you know it: Chrissy's father Reverend Snow (Peter Mark Richman) stops by for an unexpected visit!
This often VERY funny closer to the third season allows some of the guest stars to join in on the farcical fun; the sexy Youngfellow is certainly up to the task. One highlight is Jack deciding to wipe off his tomato sauce-covered hands on one of Debbies' roommates' shirts! Even the good Reverend gets in on the act, when he and the girls huddle behind the couch. He does seem pretty understanding about the whole thing, although when Jack keeps habitually coming up with lies, he does tell Debbie that Jacks' being struck by lightning is probably imminent. However, I think the other characters are awfully rude to the holy man when he tries to rehearse a sermon in front of them.
There are plenty of good laughs & sight gags in another highlight episode of this season.
Nine out of 10.
X-15 (1961)
A decent but largely forgotten Bronson film.
Based on the real-life development of the title aircraft, this dramatization shows us what happens as various civilian and military personnel test their rocket-powered aircraft that, it is hoped, can reach the outer edge of our atmosphere and then make it into space. In the process, the planes will set records in terms of altitude & speed.
Given a documentary-style approach at first (including narration spoken by Jimmy Stewart), this is certainly quite interesting to watch, but it takes a while for the picture to start injecting more heart & humanity into the story, by including moments from the test pilots' private lives. The civilian overseer of the project (James Gregory, "The Manchurian Candidate") and an Air Force colonel (Kenneth Tobey, "The Thing from Another World") have their concerns as to whether these men will be truly mentally & emotionally stable for their mission.
Charles Bronson, playing one of the test pilots, is his usual stoic self, but he does have some good scenes with young Stanley Livingston ('My Three Sons'), who plays Bronsons' son. It's also a treat to see a very young Mary Tyler Moore, who is cast as the worried girlfriend of Matt Powell (David McLean, "Kingdom of the Spiders"). Other familiar faces include Ralph Taeger (the 'Hondo' TV series), Brad Dexter ("The Magnificent Seven"), and Patricia Owens ("The Fly").
Also giving "X-15" curiosity value is that it was the theatrical debut for budding young director Richard Donner ("Superman", "Lethal Weapon", etc.), although he would continue to work in TV until the 70s, when his feature film career really took off.
Unlike some features that sort of rest on the edge of the science-fiction genre, this has a real feel of authenticity, seeing that it was based in fact and because NASA and the Air Force did extend their co-operation in the making of this movie.
Nowadays, even fans of the cast & director might draw a blank if you bring this one up. I won't try to tell you that it's some lost classic, but it's still entertaining enough to warrant a viewing for curious individuals.
Seven out of 10.
Underneath (1995)
There's something very powerful about being absent.
"Sex, Lies and Videotape" director Steven Soderbergh and star Peter Gallagher re-team for this decent stab at neo-noir, the second film version of a novel previously filmed as the classic noir "Criss Cross". Gallagher plays Michael, a shameless gambler & drifter who returns to his Texas hometown for the marriage of his mother (Anjanette Comer). In no time, he's worming his way back into the life of fed-up ex-girlfriend Rachel (Alison Elliott), and becoming a nuisance to her current beau, nightclub owner & local crime figure Tommy (William Fichtner).
"Underneath" does miss its chances for greatness due to an overall air of predictability. It's too easy to see where it's going from scene to scene. A critical heist that figures into the plot does go awry, and the script (co-written by Soderbergh, who uses a pseudonym) throws in a couple of twists near the end, to no real avail. (Although that last twist right before the end credits did amuse me.). Soderbergh spices up the material as much as he can with his color tinting (he also shot the film himself, using a different pseudonym), his story that moves backwards and forwards in time, some Dutch angles, and the device of having characters address the camera (although, in this instance, the camera represents Michaels' p.o.v.).
The cast is the principal value. Gallagher is okay, but is outshone by Elliott (playing a classic femme fatale to the hilt), Fichtner, Joe Don Baker, a wonderfully effervescent Elisabeth Shue, Adam Trese as the creepy brother, and Paul Dooley. Fichtner, in his breakthrough performance, does well in a stereotyped role, although Shelley Duvall, playing a nurse, is utterly wasted in a role that could have been played by just about any actress.
Overall, "Underneath" is certainly watchable, if not inspired. Soderbergh scored more strongly in another film in a similar vein, 1999s' "The Limey".
Seven out of 10.
Primer (2004)
"I haven't eaten since later this afternoon."
Shane Carruth, almost a one-man show behind the camera (including writing, directing, and composing), came up with this provocative head trip of a film. An obviously VERY low budget but intriguing indie, it shows what happens as Aaron (Carruth) and Abe (David Sullivan), a pair of young engineers, spend their free time inventing a device originally intended to reduce mass. They find that it is capable of so much more - leading to far-reaching consequences.
The kind of story that requires you to pay attention, and watch again (if you're so inclined) to pick up on what you might have missed, "Primer" is a small-scale sci-fi film made with conviction and intelligence. Carruth made every dime of his approximately $7,000 budget count, and ultimately ended up with about 80 minutes of usable footage. (The films' run time is just over 77 minutes.). "Primer" will definitely NOT be for people who crave action set pieces & spectacle; they are likely to simply find this boring. But people who prefer their genre films to be about *ideas* should be reasonably impressed. Without my revealing too much, the story has our two main characters endlessly caught up in attempts to rethink their plan of action.
Much like Robert Rodriguez' "El Mariachi" of a dozen years previous, this proves that mega-budgets are absolutely not necessary to create something truly interesting.
Seven out of 10.
The Dark Angel: Psycho Kickboxer (1997)
Good fun as cheesy B flicks go.
Real-life kickboxing champion Curtis Bush plays an aspiring fighter named Alex Hunter, whose police detective father (George James) and fiancee are brutally murdered by thugs right in front of him, thugs who represent a crime kingpin named Hawthorne (Tom Story). Alex is tortured and left for dead, then restored to health by a disabled Vietnam vet (Rodney Suiter) in order that he may get revenge someday.
A labor of love for Bush that was several years in the making, this is obviously pretty tacky and incredibly low-budget from beginning to end, but it never stops being very amusing. Like many movies of its kind, it's the very cheesiness of the picture that makes it so damn fun. It's impossible to take seriously, with a routine plot, inane characters, and amateurish acting. That said, Story is hilariously reminiscent of Mr. Burns in both appearance and voice, and Suiter is an utter hoot. The music is silly & repetitive, and everything about the film looks cheap, but the fights *are* reasonably well done. Kim Reynolds, playing investigative reporter Cassie, does provide a bit of nudity. Alex, who takes on the persona of a masked vigilante dubbed The Dark Angel, doles out a LOT of savage punishment to various expendable goons and lowlifes. Those two radio personalities (who apparently are just playing themselves) are annoying in the extreme.
Whatever its flaws, however, the film does have a certain earnestness about it that makes it endearing, if not "quality" stuff.
Five out of 10.
Barney Miller: Snow Job (1975)
"I think you saved his life, but I know you broke his ribs."
In this wintertime episode, the temperature inside the precinct is even *colder* than the temperature outside. While the detectives wait for engineering to do something about this, a self-loathing flasher (Ron Feinberg, "A Boy and His Dog") is brought in, only for the guy to attempt suicide in the john. And Wojo agrees to babysit the payroll for Siegels' department store, and a problem arises when some of the money goes missing. Barney himself is considered for a promotion, although he tries not to make a big deal out of it.
While not as out-and-out funny as the previous episode, 'Snow Job' does have some good laughs. What's impressive is how breathlessly the cast delivers their one-liners and witticisms. Detective Yemana answers a phone call with "Nanook speaking", for one thing. Jack Soo has another great deadpan moment when he quips "Sorry." to a coroner (who had been put on hold). One of my favorite moments had a young stick-up artist (Jeffrey Kramer, Deputy Hendricks in the first two "Jaws" movies) boggle at the cash spread out on one of the desks, and by reflex, tries to stick everybody up, despite being behind bars and not having a gun!
Towards the end, there is another good twist when the temperature in the precinct goes way UP, and now the detectives are sweltering!
Seven out of 10.
Boys Don't Cry (1999)
A powerful film.
Young Teena Brandon (Hilary Swank, in an incredible, Oscar-winning performance) identifies as male, even if technically born a female. This is the persona, otherwise known as "Brandon Teena", that he presents to the world. He moves to a new community, and falls in with a new circle of friends, but has only bought trouble for himself, since, when they inevitably discover his secret, they *feel* that he has done nothing but lie to them.
Inspired by a true story, this effort by co-writer / director Kimberly Peirce is a sensitive combination of character study and drama about one persons' question of sexual identity. It's helped by Peirces' compassionate handling of the subject, and strong acting in all the major roles. Chloe Sevigny plays Lana, the aimless girl with whom Brandon falls in love - and who reciprocates the sentiment. Among the other new "friends" are characters played by Alicia Goranson, Alison Folland, Peter Sarsgaard, and Brendan Sexton III. The latter two figure prominently in a finale that, while seemingly unavoidable, is still memorably dark and very hard to watch. In the end, we see what happens when this intolerance rears its ugly head.
The issues presented here are still resonant 25 years later. Peirce has created something here that should at least get some people talking, even if they do find some flaws in the presentation. "Boys Don't Cry" has its heart in the right place; it's the kind of film where viewers are not likely to walk away completely unaffected.
Eight out of 10.
Spider-Man: The Terrible Triumph of Dr. Octopus/Magic Malice (1967)
Pork and honey, give me your money!
'The Terrible Triumph of Dr. Octopus'. Doc Ock returns, stealing a valuable, powerful weapon called the Nullifier. With this, he plans to only allow rockets and satellites in the skies once he's been paid a hefty fee. Spidey does fall prey to a trap set by the bad doctor, but he recovers quickly and tracks his nemesis down using a fragment of Doc's clothing. (Spidey's got great gadgets to rival that of Batman.). As usual, Spidey displays his wit after having subdued the bad guy; after electrifying Doc Ock, his card reads, "Doc Ock now sees the light".
'Magic Malice'. We get another prominent Spidey villain here, as the Green Goblin breaks into the home of the magician Blackwell to exploit various magical abilities for self-gain. Some of these "magic" incantations are hilarious, but the best laugh has to be when the Goblin hides inside the walls of Blackwells' study, and Spidey heaves an ax and manages to get the Goblin in the rear end. It's also a hoot when the Goblin puts a dime in a parking meter only to rob the nearby jewelry store and THEN drain all the coins out of the meter after he comes out! For all his efforts, however, the Goblin doesn't quite have the "magic touch", in the end. And, true to his nature, Jameson refuses to do any pieces in the Bugle about magic until he gets free tickets to a show.
A fun, funny double feature with two classic Spider-Man villains in fine form.
Eight out of 10.
Il pianeta degli uomini spenti (1961)
"Science is nobody's personal property."
It's cheap and cheesy genre time again, folks, with this giddy, goofy spaghetti sci-fi flick from the prolific Antonio Margheriti, who left his mark in various genres over the decades. The legendary Claude Rains stars as Professor Benson, who has plenty to say about the arrival of "The Outsider", the name he has given to a wandering planetoid that could come perilously close to Earth. The heroes must do battle with alien "discs" before finally exploring the bowels of this Outsider - which the military is poised to destroy.
Although it is certainly tacky in some key ways (like the typically *hilarious* dubbed-in vocal performances), "Battle of the Worlds" is on par with other, later Italian sci-fi features, such as Margheriti's own "Gamma One" series. If nothing else, the filmmakers show that they can create some interesting visuals when our heroes have set foot on The Outsider. Margheriti may indeed be no Mario Bava (whose "Planet of the Vampires" is a high water mark for this niche genre), but damn if he doesn't manage to give it some fun atmosphere. As "B" level filmmakers go, Margheriti has to rank up there as one of the greats.
Still, the main reason to watch is Rains. If you're a fan of the actor, he gives this 100%. While some people may be grateful that it wasn't his absolute final film work, his presence automatically gives this genuine gravitas. He starts out as snarky and derisive, puttering around in his greenhouse with a pet dog, and gets more sincere as the story plays out until he's like a wide-eyed kid in a candy store.
Yes, for some of us this may only have appeal as a "so bad it's good" type of affair, but I'll gladly admit to having a real soft spot for stuff like this, considering that it was usually made with the best of intentions.
Five out of 10.
Star Trek: Assignment: Earth (1968)
"That, Ms. Lincoln, is simply my cat."
The concluding episode to the second season *is* one of the more interesting ones, as it sees the Enterprise travel back in time to 1968 Earth for purposes of research. There, they manage to interfere with the agenda of a man named Gary Seven (guest star Robert Lansing, 'Twelve O'clock High'), who exists in a future a thousand years *ahead* of the regular characters. He's trying to prevent a nuclear holocaust, and Kirk just buys trouble trying to determine if he can believe Sevens' story.
This is a different sort of adventure for the familiar characters. While their presence does have a definite effect on the proceedings, their experiences are almost incidental when compared to Mr. Seven. Lansing, giving an effective low-key, matter-of-fact performance, is almost the entire show here, and I'm not surprised to learn that in fact it was hoped that a series centering around Gary Seven could come to fruition. His character is certainly fun to watch; adding sex appeal and spice is the presence of a young, vivacious Teri Garr ("Close Encounters of the Third Kind") as an innocent secretary who really had NO idea what her bosses (associates of Seven) were up to!
All in all, good fun, with a reasonably tense finale and a final moment where Kirk & Spock depart the company of Seven and Ms. Lincoln amicably. (It was also a nice touch to see Spock become immediately fond of Sevens' feline companion Isis.) The theme of the episode is quite topical, and it remains so over 56 years later.
Appropriately enough, I rate this seven out of 10.
Three's Company: Jack Moves Out (1979)
"Janet, I think your trap caught a booby!"
After having an extremely lousy day, Jack is in such a testy mood that he unfairly blows up at the girls, and storms off, promising that he's moving out. He then takes up an offer from Mrs. Layton (Cynthia Harris, 'Mad About You'), the wife of Larry's boss, to come be a live-in cook at the Layton home. Jack realizes that he's made a mistake when she AGGRESSIVELY comes on to him, and returns to the apartment to eat crow and apologize to the girls.
'Jack Moves Out' has some great laughs, especially when Mrs. Layton is determined to play footsie with an unwilling Jack underneath the Layton dinner table. Of course, this wouldn't be the last time in the series that Jack did NOT want to return a lady's advances. Best of all is when Jack sneaks into the apartment through the unsecured living room window, and falls prey to a booby trap created by Janet. She & Chrissy felt uneasy after a security system salesman (Paul Kent, "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan") raised their apprehensions over break-ins in the neighborhood. It's also funny when a uniformed cop (John Larroquette) arrives to arrest Jack, and in a manner befitting Larroquettes' future Dan Fielding character, the cop envies Jacks' living situation and wonders why he would want to LEAVE in the first place.
While one does indeed already start to miss the Ropers (whose spin-off series was imminent), and the scene where Jack dumps on the girls gets too uncomfortable, ultimately 'Jack Moves Out' is able to put a smile on series fans' faces.
Also guest starring future Mr. Angeleno actor Jordan Charney ("Ghostbusters") as the seemingly unknowing Mr. Layton, and the all-too-appropriately named Janet Wood ("Foul Play") as Larry's current girlfriend Frances.
Seven out of 10.
Heaven with a Gun (1969)
Worth watching for its cast.
Glenn Ford ("The Big Heat") stars as Jim Killian, a reformed gunslinger who comes to a small town in the hopes of becoming a preacher. He finds that there are tremendous tensions between the ranchers, some of them cattle men and some of them sheep-herders. Jim aims to show them that they CAN all get along, just as their herds can. However, things get out of control anyway, thanks to terminally stubborn cattle rancher Asa Beck (John Anderson, "Psycho") and his trouble-making son "Coke" (David Carradine, "Kill Bill"). The wannabe holy man must make a choice between being the peaceful man of God and using his gun again.
While it is true that some of the characters could have used more fleshing out (Carolyn "Morticia Addams" Jones in particular is under-utilized as a saloon / brothel owner and former flame of Jims'), "Heaven with a Gun" is a thoroughly decent Western with an entertaining (if undeniably absurd at times) story. Ford doesn't have to stretch himself here, but the actors playing the villains are clearly enjoying themselves, and that includes J. D. Cannon ('McCloud') as a slimy hired gun who relishes relating Jims' sordid back story to the townspeople.
Director Lee H. Katzin ("Le Mans", "World Gone Wild") is no master stylist, but is certainly capable enough. What IS surprising is how nasty & gory this gets at times; as well, the lovely Barbara Hershey ("The Entity") and Angelique Pettyjohn ("The Lost Empire") provide some welcome nudity. There is also, however, an ugly scene with Carradine & Hershey (who, as buffs well know, were a real-life item for a while).
"Heaven with a Gun" is likewise worth watching for an eclectic supporting cast consisting of Noah Beery Jr. ('The Rockford Files'), Harry Townes ("Fitzwilly"), William Bryant ("McQ"), Virginia Gregg ("Operation Petticoat"), James Griffith ("The Amazing Transparent Man"), Roger Perry (the "Count Yorga" films), Ed Bakey ("Dead & Buried"), and Barbara Babcock ("The Black Marble").
Although some of those aforementioned elements will displease lovers of classic Westerns, they may well intrigue viewers with different sensibilities.
Seven out of 10.
Fang Shi Yu (1972)
How can you resist such a title?
Fei Meng plays Fang Shih Yu, a young martial artist who ends up fatally striking an opponent during a fight. In retaliation, the thuggish "Iron Fist" Tan (Yasuaki Kurata) and "Iron Fist" Chien (Ching Wong) murder his father. Our protagonist becomes determined to avenge his father (training with his mother for over a year), taking LOTS of lumps along the way.
"Kung Fu, the Punch of Death" a.k.a. "The Prodigal Boxer" admittedly has a very familiar and mostly predictable story, but the filmmakers were savvy enough to only use that as a stepping stone for tons of martial arts mayhem. The fights are frequent and intense, not to mention LOUD (the "impact sounds" are hilariously ridiculous). The dubbing is of course cheesy, but the actors on screen are quite easy to watch, making this an enjoyable diversion for an hour and a half.
I appreciated the fact that the hero was rather brash, and needed to learn some humiliation before he finally rose up righteous and kicked his antagonists' asses something fierce. (This does get pretty bloody at the end.) His training sessions with his loving mother are also worth watching, especially as she repeatedly thrusts a log at his torso to toughen him up.
Good fun for fans of the genre.
Seven out of 10.