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Reviews
Madame Web (2024)
Just went with the first draft?
Someone wrote the main plot and a few bullet point ideas on a napkin the night before filming began and they just went with that, it seems.
There are plenty of reviews highlighting the bad points and I'll just highlight the main things for me.
Ben Parker was way too old to not yet be with May, they're supposed to be an old couple who have been together forever by the time Peter gets his abilities but with this timeline they'd hardly have 10 years of marriage behind them.
A truck smashes into an ambulance seemingly at a crossroads but as the camera pans out it was headed to a dead end at the edge of a dock so why was the truck going so fast 100 yards from a dead end?!
Barely 2 minutes after they escape the subway it's already on the radio about police being attacked by them.
After only 4 hours or so of being "missing" a truck driver has a copy of the Daily Bugle with the girls "abduction" as front page news... ON THE SAME DAY THE INCIDENT OCCURS! No paper is that fast to report, print and distribute in half a day.
Madam Web steals a taxi cab and manages to drive around with no plates for a week or more, even leaving it at the airport whilst she has a small holiday with any repercussions.
It certainly gave me some laughs, but for all the wrong reasons.
The Holdovers (2023)
Subtly wonderful
I thought they were a little late releasing this movie after Christmas given the theme but watching it on a cold last day in January snug in my coat in the dark cinema couldn't have been a better time.
Everything was perfectly subtle, the acting, the emotion, the soundtrack, the whole look. Nothing was oversold or over the top or trying too hard.
Paul Giamatti was his typical excellent self and for my money is one of the greatest actors known, he automatically gives any project clout and although I haven't seen all of his work I've never seen anything bad.
Dominic Sessa comes in as a complete newbie and is obviously a natural for the part, once again subtle without trying too hard he just delivers.
Da'Vine Joy Randolph is just beautiful, her story arc of a grieving mother is subtly played throughout. She's not falling about screaming and crying constantly but instead carefully controlling her breaking heart, all whilst giving council to Guamattis character as good conscience.
The soundtrack didn't really stand out, in a good way, there were familiar songs but nothing was trying to smash nostalgia in your face like most movies set in a particular period and I found myself listening to it in the car on the drive home which kept that fuzzy warm feeling going that while longer.
This won't be something I'll actively seek out once it's on general release as much as I liked it but should it ever be on tv and I happen to catch it, it would easily be a firm fixture in my list of films to watch on a cold afternoon cosy and warm under a blanket on the sofa.
Poor Things (2023)
Gratuitous Porn fest
I enjoyed the whole quirkiness of this movie, visually grand and musically curious with a wicked dry humour scattered throughout. An interesting outlook of a "new born" parading around in a grown body finding what they want from life and maybe even making you question if we're all working a little too hard to conform to "polite society" and other people's expectations. This is where Bella draws people in, her pure unapologetic innocence to "why don't people just do this all the time" or why we shouldn't be permitted to do this and that.
There was an interesting back story to unfurl that I'd honestly forgotten about until the last 20 minutes of the movie, when the filmmakers seemingly met their quota to create an hour and forty minutes worth of soft porn and remembered there needed to be some story thrown in quick sharp before the whole thing wrapped.
It comes across as one of those movies everyone must say is fabulous but don't really know why if they're brutally honest with themselves. Oh they'll skirt around the cinematography, costumes and art nouveau flare or some flannel like that but it's mostly just a film with loads of tits, fanny, floppy wieners and a load of shagging.
The Lobster was far superior and a prime example of substance over style.
The Flight of Dragons (1982)
The one no one else knows about
As a kid movies were my life, especially animated movies. But not being from a wealthy family buying videos willy nilly or having trips to the cinema the VHS recorder was my best friend. Shown once in a blue moon on tv this was one my dad recorded among many and was one of my all time favourites but no one else knew of it.
At the time there was enough fantasy and excitement to keep a dumb kid entertained but watching later in life I realise it somehow achieved that without dumbing it down at all and made so much more sense as an adult understanding the fantastic way science was used to explain magic and mythology.
Without realising almost every word and musical piece was still very much ingrained on my brain. Throughout my life so far I can never hear the word 'inevitable' without hearing it in James Earl Jones' voice.
I doubt fresh eyes would appreciate this movie now considering the animated advances but for me this will continue to take up space in my brain and my heart for the rest of my life.
The Little Mermaid (2023)
The Little Meh-maid
As far as all these reimagining live action movies are going this one wasn't that bad really I suppose. I managed to sit through it without having to say "ugh" every 10 minutes as they destroyed another childhood memory. They made it different enough so that it wasn't just a shot for shot but some of the iconic moments should've been kept true. All the animals aside from scuttle where just mundane because they were realistic so had no pizazz, Flounder didn't stick out AT ALL and Sebastian was about as flamboyant as a crab stick served with ketchup. His voice and personality were tame and "Under The Sea" was just so boring! With none of the other sea creatures joining in to sing just a few cucumbers and jellyfish floating about with Ariel filling in for the other lyrics.
With Ariel I never really felt that she loved Eric, barely a mild crush. The land of the merpeople was barren with only King Triton and his weirdly varied children, yeah let's get diverse but this dude specifically has a child of every race going aside from Navajo which is probably on his list.
Eric's island was nicely fleshed out giving us a glimpse around a beautifully colourful Caribbean town.
I will say Ursula was achieved well by McCarthy, she seemed to be the only person who put some effort in to the role.
I know why Disney keep churning these out but also I don't. They should concentrate on the lesser known ones like Basil the mouse detective and Rescuers, they would make great movies brought up to date with todays tech, these blockbusters are all just dire and ruin everyone's expectations. The only really half decent one they've managed is Lady And The Tramp and that was a direct stream.
The Whale (2022)
Not disappointed with Brendan.
I was very much looking forward to watching this, I was hoping for a similar affect I got from The Wrestler where a previously well known but not seen for a while actor gets their chops into something a little more honest and humble. I wasn't disappointed. I had a worry that the hype for Brendan was over the top (not that I didn't think he could handle it) but I was completely put at ease soon into story, restrained by his physical inabilities his eyes did all the work and I couldn't help but get drawn in and feel for his character.
It was pretty (purposefully) obvious where the plot was going which gave some comfort and allowed you to just settle in and go with it. I did find the character of his daughter a little stereotypical and try hard with her "I hate school, everyone and I'm masking my emotions with teenage angst" and with the film running over the course of only a week it all seemed a little rushed trying to build relationships. But none of this made it any less heartbreaking when approaching the movies climax when she's just so close to having the father she missed so much immediately taken away from her.
The remainder of the characters provided adequate filler I suppose although the missionary didn't really provide anything extra in my opinion.
The be all and end all though is with Brendan. More seriousness from you please, sir.
Knock at the Cabin (2023)
Middle of the fence
I don't quite know where I am with this one. I'm somewhat of a fan of Shyamalan from Sixth Sense to The Village (which is my favourite) then The Happening and to an extent Old there's been a fair bit of 'meh' in amongst it all, but this I can't quite place.
I didn't hate it but I'm not left feeling anything either, the acting was great from all especially Bautista. The directing and cinematography and pace where all fine and I wasn't at all bored considering it was set in a condensed area. But there just wasn't that Shayamalan "zing", twist or that message or whatever you typically get from his movies.
I feel it deserves more than a middle of the road 5* but I've just never really been quite so indifferent about a movie before. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either, and I feel like it could've been with a little tweaking.
Highway to Heaven (1984)
Ahead of its time
609 characters now?! Jeez.
So, Highway To Heaven is something ingrained into my childhood. I would sit and watch with my parents always in the hope that Jonathan would get into a fight, because he was akin to Superman.
Having rediscovered this show lately I initially watched out of pure nostalgia unaware how engrossed I was becoming. As most people do I started to investigate in to the characters/actors/origins of the show and this just enthralled me even more so. Learning the fates of Michael Landon and Victor French just made watching this show seem so much more beautiful.
Most "old" tv shows date so poorly and create so many cringeworthy moments due to their lack of awareness but it's amazing how well this show holds up. It's by no means perfect but you really can see where Landon was aiming. Without a doubt this show was ahead of its time regarding awareness and understanding towards all walks of people.
Whereas I considered Victor French (Mark) as the comic relief years ago he really throws you off at times when his character requires some genuine feeling. Maybe that how it works so well, he misdirects you to believe he's nothing special and Landon must've realised this.
I could probably harp on so much more about how truly special this tv show is and how it's shaped me as a person over the years. If nothing else the intro is just sublime and one of those unforgettable musical numbers that makes your heart swell.
I'm so grateful to find this all over again because it really does put so much into perspective.
Some may see a cheesy 80's show but this offers so much more and doesn't get half the recognition it deserves. Thank you Landon and French for a wonderful onscreen friendship and reopening my eyes to human decency.