Verdict: It's better than that steaming pile of Stephen Sommers that came out last summer. And yes, Sgt. Slaughter vs. Nemesis Enforcer is one of the best things ever made.
Whatever the movie's faults, Joe succeeds at transplanting the Joes' action to the big screen, giving the movie - dare I say it - an "epic" feel when compared to its afterschool cartoon origins. The opening title sequence, which basically exists to start the show off with a bang (plot holes be damned) features the biggest battle ever between the Joes and Cobra, which works in face time for almost every major and supporting player in the Joe verse - even Major Blood.
The plot proper doesn't kick in until after the three minute assault on the Statue of Liberty, where Cobra's emperor, Serpentor, puts Cobra Commander on trial for his incompetence. Before the likes of Destro and Dr. Mindbender can persecute their raspy-voiced leader, a mysterious woman infiltrates Cobra's base and reveals herself to be Pythona, a citizen of the mysterious Cobra-La, who needs Serpentor's help in retrieving a energy-making device called the BET, a device key to the bad guy's plan to rule the world.
Cut to the Snow-Cat full mountains of somewhere very cold as the Joes test the BET moments before Cobra forces invade. Here, the animated series raises the stakes - Duke gets hurt in battle! - and we know we're in for a very PG-13 conflict between good versus evil.
We soon learn that Cobra-La is an ancient civilization that somehow manages to bankroll Cobra's international ops, from inside an ice dome, in a place growing with death plants and murder bugs (Yep.) Its leader, Golobulus (a scene-chewing Burgess Meredith), uses a winged badass by the name of Nemesis Enforcer to pave the way for Cobra-La's return to surface living by wiping out the human population by launching deadly spores into Earth's orbit.
Standing in Cobra's way are Duke and his cocky brother, Falcon (Don Johnson!), who emerges as the narrative's main character, much like Hot Rod did in Transformers, as he goes from one-note Maverick to ultimate hero with a battle to the death inside the heart of Cobra-La.
The movie has the unenviable task of introducing many new toys, er, characters, yet somehow the narrative finds adequate means to weave Beach Head's new recruits, the big bads of Cobra-La and Sgt. Slaughter's crew without feeling forced or contrived. In doing so, fans of the franchise may feel that their favorites - particularly Snake-Eyes, Bazooka, Flint and Storm Shadow - are short-shrifted, in favor of a large-scale story that can't quite find the proper balance between the Joes vs. Cobra, and the Joes vs. Cobra-La. In retrospect, the opening title sequence seems to exist to satisfy the more traditional approach to a G.I. Joe movie fans may have expected.
And yes, the movie is one very explosion-filled ad for playsets, but it does manage to successfully pull off some very dark moments; the edgiest beats in the entire franchise's history. The first centers on Cobra Commander's Cobra-La origins, ending with him literally, and violently, being turned into a snake thanks to Golobulus. The second capitalizes on the fact that, on the big screen, our Joes bleed, especially Duke, when he takes a Serpentor snake scarf to the heart. This scene was to be the death of the Joe's leader, a moment the movie earns - only to have the dramatic impact undercut by Scarlet's ADR line telling us that Duke is only in a coma.
We get it - Hasbro didn't like the flack it received by killing off Optimus Prime in his animated movie, so they didn't want a repeat of that. In doing so, the beats following Duke's non-death - General Hawk crying, Falcon's "this one's for you, brother" post-battle line - don't resonate as the filmmakers intended. Their desire to deliver a darker, more "realistic" take on a series where the heroes never get hurt and always regroup FTW by the end of the show is undercut, but not completely undone.
G.I. Joe sets out to satisfy an older crowd than its target audience, one that would many years later find it hard to revisit the movie with objective eyes, and to that end it hits its mark. Its movie logic doesn't hold up as well as its narrative wishes it did - It's all too easy for Sgt. Slaughter and four others to take down that which an entire army of Joes could not, the Terror Drome. And while the project's ambition is commendable, and for the most part successful, the animation budget lacks the necessary coin to properly pull off the many battlefronts comprising the picture's climax.
G.I. Joe is not a perfect movie, but I don't regret watching it like it were the Zepruder film as a kid. It manages to deliver suitable drama for a franchise with action figure beginnings, which is more than I can say for last summer's overproduced, narratively bankrupt fail from Paramount. Duke getting stabbed with a python and surviving is better than Duke wearing a Channing Tatum suit any day.
Score: 6 out of 10
Video and Presentation
G.I. Joe: The Movie is in 16x9 widescreen at last! Conceived as a theatrical release, the film ended up going straight-to-video and had never been seen in its originally intended aspect ratio, until now. As a longtime fan, there's no denying that it's just very fun and cool to see old school animated Joe like this, given a truly cinematic feel.
The animation in G.I. Joe: The Movie is better than the series that begat it, with more texture and detail and overall care given to the characters and backgrounds. That being said, it's still inescapable that this was sub-par animation in terms of other fully animated feature films and in 1080p hi-def, there is obvious grain and dirt throughout the film, which almost certainly is due to the source material.
It's hard to fault Shout! Factor for this though, as they clearly did the best they could with the source material available (they made the HD transfer off a good-condition print they located). As a fan, I'm very appreciative of the work that went into getting this film on Blu-ray and giving it the best possible presentation.
Score: 7 out of 10
Audio and Languages
G.I. Joe: The Movie is presented in 2.0 Stereo. It's a serviceable track, but definitely lacking in the oomph department, considering this is a film filled with explosions and gun (well, mostly laser) fire. Again, this isn't too shocking though, given the source material.
For the most part, the dialogue is clear and distinct, but there are also some moments of distortion included in the audio tracks, which made heavy use of previously recorded music and sound FX that will ring a bell for anyone who watched the animated Joe and Transformers series at the time.
Score: 6 out of 10
Extras and Packaging
G.I. Joe: The Movie includes a second disc containing the film on DVD, where it is presented in full screen. The following extras are available on both discs.
Story consultant Buzz Dixon provides a very honest, very blunt, commentary that is not afraid to point out story inconsistencies or narrative choices that don't work or should have worked better. He explains the genesis behind the opening title sequence, which came after the script was completed and Hasbro realized they didn't have a slam-bang opening.
Dixon also provides background on the original story planned for the movie, one that eventually found its way in part as a multi-episode arc about the creation of Serpentor prior to the movie's release. Dixon calls out the lame factor surrounding the Cobra-La name, a name that was to serve as a placeholder until someone came up with a better title for Golobulus' empire (no one did). His commentary may have a few lull spots, but it is a candid, trivia-filled listen for die-hard fans.
Eight of the legendary "Now I Know" PSAs are included on the disc, which comprise the only PSAs missing from the Joe complete series set Shout! released last year.
The DVD has exclusive bonus feature, which is the printable screenplay for the film.
A solid collection of extras for a movie that is only sacred to a select group of fans.
Score: 7 out of 10
The Bottom Line
A trip down nostalgia lane to be sure, G.I. Joe: The Movie, flawed though it may be, is still quite entertaining for those who grew up loving these characters. Shout! has again delivered, with a HD Blu-ray it's amazing to believe even exists for a movie of this sort, even if the source material's technical imperfections don't quite live up to the format. With some solid extras accompanying it, this is an easy recommendation for Joe-fans.