Post a Comment On: The Life And Opinions of Andrew Rilstone

damn this country
damn this country’s constitution, where tiny majorities equate to landslide victories
damn this country’s constitution where leaders can have elections whenever the hell they like
damn this country’s constitutions where leaders can have elections whenever the hell they like, after specifically introducing laws which say they can’t
damn the whole archaic idea of monarchy, which allows party leaders to act like queens even though i quite like the pageantry
damn the whole idea of the established church which lends spurious divine authority to politicians while paying stipends to priests who reject even the most basic christian teachings
damn anyone who cares what easter eggs are called
damn the teachers who belittled us, lied to us, hit us, and stared at us in the showers and the judges who sentenced mentally handicapped teenagers to be hanged and the mad nostalgia merchants who want it all to happen again
damn anyone who thinks that 63360 is a sensible number of centimeters for there to be in a kilometer
damn the hooray henries and public school boys and vicar's daughters and grocer's daughters who think that politics is a series of funny japes
damn the amoral careerists who vow to work every day to undermine their own leader
damn the followers of the middle way who sold their birth right and never even got the pottage.
damn the national anthem, the cenotaph, the donkey jacket and the bacon sandwich
damn everyone who is not a racist themselves but thinks we have to pay attention to the very real racism of the working class

damn the daily mail and all those who have ever read it we do renounce them
damn the daily express and all those who have ever read it we do renounce them
damn rupert murdoch and the god-father of his baby we do renounce them
damn nigel farage who did all this single-handedly. (although, in a certain light, fair play to the canny bastard as well)
damn tony blair and his dossier damn neil kinoock and his rally damn thatcher and her milk damn thatcher and her war damn thatcher and her strike may her grave be licensed for dancing forever 

i sometimes think that the big war the grown ups promised us did come after all and the extra forty years we spent inventing new types of coffee and looking at kittens and pornography was a radiation dream and soon the cloud will pass and we will emerge from our inner refuge into nuclear winter and resume normal activities
we finally really did it.



NOTE: For the benefit of my mother, one of the words in this piece has been changed to a different word. An unexpurgated version is available on request. 
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