38 Celebrity-Endorsed Products and Services That Quite Simply Ain’t It
Rob Schneider used to be America’s sweetheart. Now look at him
![38 Celebrity-Endorsed Products and Services That Quite Simply Ain’t It](https://cdn.statically.io/img/s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/3/0/8/1104308_320x180.jpg)
Want to stink like a celebrity? This is the list for you.
Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.
![In 2014, State Farm ran ads featuring Rob Schneider. That was before he got vocally anti-vaccine. Now, anyone would want to distance themselves from an anti-vaxxer. But it made particular sense in the case of State Farm - а health insurance company. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/1/1/1105211.jpg)
![Chevrolet used to sponsor Wendy Williams' show. Until she commented on black colleges. We have historically black colleges, she said, referring to a recent speech by actor Jesse Williams. I would be really offended if there was a school that was known as a historically white college. Williams is black, but that didn't keep her comments from attracting controversy. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/1/0/1105210.jpg)
![Paula Deen was sued by a former employee. She was nostalgic for the gool ol' Southern plantation days. Deen and her brother were sued over racist comments, sexual harassment, and borderline assault. It came out she was planning a plantation wedding for her brother, complete with tap-dancing black waiters. Walmart, Target, and others dropped her like a hot potato. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/9/1105209.jpg)
![Jim Beam whiskey partnered with Mila Kunis in 2017. Many boycotted the brand over her actions. Kunis said on Conan that she sends donations to Planned Parenthood every month in the name of Vice President Mike Pence. Jim Beam's conservative base took great offense at this and began a boycott of the product. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/4/1105204.jpg)
![Sharon Stone was Christian Dior's spokesmodel. Until she blamed China for an earthquake. At the 2008 Cannes Film Festival, Stone called the Dalai Lama a friend and wondered if a recent quake in China was karma for Tibet. Calling 85,000 deaths divine retribution was enough to make China ban her films and get Christian Dior to drop her. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/0/1105200.jpg)
![Marion Jones lost sponsorship deals over her steroid use. That was just the beginning of her troubles. During the inquiry, the Olympic athlete lied to IRS investigators about never using the substances, and that's a crime. Between those charges and others related to money laundering, Jones ended up having to serve six months in prison in 2008. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/9/4/1105194.jpg)
![Nivea picked Rihanna as their spokesmodel in 2012. Then they dropped her for being too sexy. A Nivea ad showed Rihanna apparently nude with her arms crossed over her breasts. It wasn't a particularly sexual ad, but Nivea's parent company panicked anyway. Its CEO said, I do not understand how to associate the core brand of Nivea with Rihanna. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/1/1105201.jpg)
![Everybody dropped Lindsay Lohan when her life imploded. Not even obscure companies wanted her. A clothing company called Odaingerous decided that even they were too good for Lohan after her DUI. Its CEO, Odain Watson, said that they had decided to move forward and will soon announce the name of the Odaingerous face and continue the world of living Odaingerously. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/9/5/1105195.jpg)
![38 Celebrity-Endorsed Products and Services That Quite Simply Ain’t It](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/9/6/1105196.gif)
![Eugenie Bouchard was sponsored by a bunch of companies. Colgate ENAME They deserted her after she suffered a concussion. Several companies, including Colgate and Aviva, sponsored tennis player Eugenie Bouchard. In 2014, she slipped in the locker room and hit her head, suffering a concussion. Her rankings plummeted over the next year, so her sponsors turned tail. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/9/9/1105199.jpg)
![Rachael Ray was in a Dunkin' Donuts ad in 2008. It was pulled because of her terrorist scarf. The ad seemed as uncontroversial as you can get. But many conservative commentators claimed that Ray's scarf was a keffiyeh, an Arab garment. Which, they said, promoted terrorism. Dunkin' Donuts tried to dismiss the issue as nonsense, but in the end, they pulled the ad. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/9/7/1105197.jpg)
![Akon had a profitable relationship with Verizon. Until he got freaky with an underage girl. While playing in Trinidad, Akon pulled a fan onstage and simulated sex with her. The fan turned out to be 15 years old. And a minister's daughter. That was controversial enough for Verizon to drop Akon and end a $2 million deal. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/7/1105207.jpg)
![38 Celebrity-Endorsed Products and Services That Quite Simply Ain’t It](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/9/3/1105193.gif)
![Cynthia Calvillo was using marijuana legally. Body Armor dropped her anyway. Body Armor dropped MMA fighter Calvillo as a spokesperson after she failed a marijuana test in 2018. Even though she has a medical marijuana card. Sure, cannabis is a banned substance in the World Anti-Doping Code, but it doesn't exactly give you an unfair boost. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/9/8/1105198.jpg)
![In 2017, L'Oréal partnered with model Munroe Bergdorf. That partnership ended in mere days. L'Oréal chose Bergdorf as part of a diversity initiative, so perhaps they shouldn't have been surprised when she posted on Facebook about the racial violence of white people. But the result was a boycott, so L'Oréal cut her loose ... resulting in a different boycott from her supporters. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/8/1105208.jpg)
![Scarlett Johansson used to represent the charity Oxfam. She ended up trading charity for soda. Oxfam took issue when Johansson became a spokesperson for SodaStream, which is headquartered in the West Bank. Because of their position on the Israel-Palestine situation, they urged her to leave SodaStream. She left Oxfam instead. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/5/1105205.jpg)
![Kathy Griffin fake- beheaded Trump. The joke was lost on many. The comedian held a ketchup-coated Donald Trump mask in a web video, and few understood she was referencing some of Trump's comments about blood coming out of a woman's body. She lost a couple of deals-even one with Squatty Potty, a device for changing your posture on the toilet. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/6/1105206.jpg)
![Whoopi Goldberg derided the president. FOR USE AS PART OF A LOW CARB DIET Slim-Fast LOSE BIG SlimFast dropped her as a spokesperson because of it. While attending a Democratic fundraiser back in 2004, Goldberg pointed at her crotch and said, We should keep Bush where he belongs, and not in the White House. It seems a whole lot of Bush supporters were potential customers of SlimFast. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/9/2/1105192.jpg)
![Kate Moss was the face of H&M, Chanel, and Burberry. Apparently, they didn't know she had been in rehab. In 2005, when pictures surfaced of Moss appearing to snort cocaine, she was promptly dropped by all three clotheries. They were shocked-shocked!- that a model who had popularized the fashion trend known as heroin chic would do drugs. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/3/1105203.jpg)
![Maria Sharapova lost multiple sponsorships for taking drugs. She didn't even know she was doing it. Sharapova was temporarily banned from tennis in 2016 for using performance-enhancing drugs. But the drug had only been banned recently, and she had been taking it for health reasons under a different name. She had to Google it to know what it was. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/2/1105202.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes BRUCE WILLIS EAU DE PARFUM by Bruce Willis Released in 2010, this scent is as masculine and confident as Bruce himself. Apparently men smell like grapefruit and pepper. BRUCE WILLIS EAU DE PARFUM CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/9/1/1105191.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes SUCCESS by Donald Trump Unlike the former U.S. president, this cologne smells of juniper, red currant, spicy ginger, and coriander. The sweet smell of success actually confuses the nose. SUCCESS BY TRUMP SUCCESS BY TRUMP RAY GRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/9/0/1105190.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes HARAJUKU LOVERS SUNSHINE CUTIES LIL' ANGEL by Gwen Stefani This mouthful of a perfume promoted by the singer does not smell like bananas TAKE NO (B-A-N-A-N-A-S) but MY NEW P FRAGRAM AND A amber, vanilla, patchouli, rose, and lemon. KARAJUKU LOVERS LIL'ANGEL TESTER CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/8/9/1105189.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes CUMMING by Alan Cumming Get it? Because his last name is...! Yeah, you get it. Cumming pitched this as a joke, but then the whole thing became real. CUMMING CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/8/8/1105188.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes VENOM by Stone Cold Steve Austin /WWE During the height of WWE's Attitude Era, every single type of merch was created including this cologne. If it were accurate to Austin, it would probably smell of spilled beer and swampy knee braces, but are you gonna tell him that? STONFECOLO 3:16 Austin 3.16 VenoM 221 POT 218 Veno10 - OT . vastina Information - CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/8/7/1105187.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes GRABMAN by Randy Moss If you're gonna smell like the celebrated NFL wide receiver, you're gonna have to bottle up oak moss, tonka beans, spearmint, and lavender. Personally, we'd give it a pass but he'd just catch it. RANDY M GRABMAN CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/8/6/1105186.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes SNOOKI by Nicole Snooki Polizzi During the peak of the reality show star's popularity, she came out with a scent all of her own containing kiwi, cupcake, floral notes, and jasmine. Smells better than the Jersey Shore, to be sure. Snoove BY NICOLE POLICE CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/8/5/1105185.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes KISS Her/KISS Him by Kiss The rock band puts their name on everything, so it's not a surprise that they'd make both a perfume and cologne. Oddly, the fragrance contains red peppercorns and wet fig leaves, but not grease paint. KISS HER KISS HER SPAR CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/8/4/1105184.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes FAME by Lady Gaga To promote the fragrance, Gaga claimed it contained blood and semen (because that's appealing?), but it's actually made with notes of belladonna, jasmine, orchid, honey, saffron, and apricot nectar. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/8/2/1105182.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes DANIELLE by Danielle Steel Yes, the same person who writes romance novels. Per the ad, the fragrance is named Danielle to embody a strong and intriguing woman. Strong like Steel, maybe? CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/8/0/1105180.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes LEMON-SCENTED STICKY BAT PERFUME OIL by Neil Gaiman The writer lent his name (and penned a short story ad) for a limited edition fragrance for Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. The oil has an earthy, lemon sugar scent. BLACK PHOENIX ALCHEMY LAB - - Neil Gaiman's LEMON-SCENTED STICKY BAT CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/8/3/1105183.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes TAPOUT BODY SPRAY by John Cena Apparently hustle, loyalty, and respect smells like juniper berries, mandarin, bergamot leaf, and thyme. TAPOUT You can try it yourself if you spot it at Walmart. W - - - FUEL KWAN SPNCY SEOK - - - 8.0 FL OZ 236 ml e CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/7/9/1105179.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes SOUL2SOUL by Tim McGrath and Faith Hill The country couple teamed up for a cologne/perfume combo. The mix contains apple blossom, grapefruit. lotus, and white peach. FAITH HILL BOUL 2 BOUL EAU DE TOILETTE SPRAY VAPORISATEUR GRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/8/1/1105181.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes FLAME by Burger King In a fragrance fit for a king, His Royal Majesty of Burgers presented a limited edition body spray that had one primary feature: the smell of flame- broiled meat. Just take Axe body spray and add liquid smoke to it. BURGER FLAME. KING CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/7/5/1105175.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes SPERM WHALE COLOGNE by John Hodgman Mostly as a joke to advertise his comedy special Ragnarok, Hodgman sold survival kits which contained a real, sea mammal- themed cologne. The kit also has a flask for your urine. (-WHALE) JOHN HODGMAN KOLON/S GRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/7/8/1105178.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes BENEDICT by Pope Benedict XVI and Silvana Casoli During his reign at the Vatican, Pope Benedict approached the famed celebrity perfume-maker for a custom scent. Holiness apparently smells like lime tree, verbena, and grass. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/7/4/1105174.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes 3121 by Prince The perfume contains bergamot, jasmine, gardenia, orange blossom and lily-of-the- valley, but is mostly known for Prince refusing to endorse it. His lack of promotion got him sued for $3.95 million dollars by the fragrance company. PUPU eau de parfum PUPU A. oz. 7.5 ml GRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/7/6/1105176.jpg)
![Celebrity Colognes and Perfumes KONVICT by Akon The rapper created fragrances for men and women in bottles with handcuff-oriented designs. Because if you want to go HARD, you gotta smell like bergamot and lemon like a prisoner does. من AKON KONVICT EAU DE PARRIM-FEMME -50581 1.7FL.OZ K2 KONVICT CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/7/7/1105177.jpg)