What the flip did you just flipping say about me, you little ball of wonder? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Kalamazoo Party Planner Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous surprise parties on people of all ages, and I have over 300 confirmed hugs. I am trained in talking things out and I’m the top snuggler in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just the best person I've met. I will wipe your tears the flip out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my flipping words. You think you can get away with saying that stuff to me over the Internet? Think again, friend. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of special friends across the USA and good vibes and prayers are being sent your way right now so you better prepare for the storm, my good buddy. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your sadness. You’re the best, kid. If you need me, I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hug you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in hugs, but I have access to an endless wealth of positivity and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your tears off your face, you little charmer. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have said something sooner. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and that's okay because you have a lot of things to worry about, you're fine just the way you are. I will send positivity all over you and you will be lifted up in it. You’re the best, kiddo.